To Forget, To Protect
by Bitway
Summary: It's for her own protection but it hurts so damn much watching history repeat itself. {ending 2 via Suga's POV}


Seeing that look on her face, that familiar beaming smile with such bright eyes. She was so happy to remember everything, to remember the promise, to remember him. Everything that was once forgotten had been found in that cursed forest. How she never saw those memories as a terrible fate, he'd never know.

And it hurts, seeing that expression upon her face. It's almost too blinding, makes him want to stop everything, to keep her like this forever. He knows he should be happy that she remembers him, but...remembering him comes with a price.

(I'm not worth it.)

Nevertheless, he forces his own smile, somehow managing to look just as happy for all that has happened. For his survival, for hers. That day in the forest was one they'd never forget. He'd never forget it.

"Suga, what are yo-?"

Her question is interrupted as he holds up the night glowstone. That smile on his face, he's aware it's already fading, lips beginning to quiver. It's a facade that he hates having to put up, but it won't last for long. It's not even lasting now.

He bites at his lip, swallows, fingers clenching the small protective stone in his hand while holding it up to her. The girl blinks and he can see the look in her eyes, see how she's slowly coming to the realization of what he's doing. Any type of budding joy has begun to disappear. He swears that there's fear in her eyes. She's scared. She doesn't want this.

(This is how it has to be. This is how it has to be.)

"Please...I-I don't want to forget...I want to rememb-"

Hearing her beg for these memories stabs at his chest and he has to shut his eyes for a moment. He can't look at her, he can't. The only thing he can do is hold the stone closer to her. There's no need to worry that her gaze is captivated by it's shine. He's seen this happen before. It was too late for her to be freed from this.

"Su...ga..."

It's difficult for her eyes to remain open. She tries to fight it, to keep hold of her memories. But this has happened before, it's a fight she cannot win. A spell is cast over her, she feels tired, sleepy. Her legs are beginning to feel weak and she can't stand for much longer. Consciousness begins to fade and eventually she begins to fall-

But he's there to hold her, keep her from hitting the ground. The stone is dropped in doing so, but what does he care for that little charm currently? He needs to keep her safe, stop from hurting her any longer than he already has.

(It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault.)

It's such a strange feeling to be holding her close to him. She was so warm, so full of life. He had to protect her. He wanted to protect her. He could feel something forming in his throat, something pricking at his eyes.

 _"You're still a crybaby, huh?"_

He can hear her voice so perfectly and clear in his head. If she weren't asleep, he'd think it real. His gaze lingers upon the girl for a moment longer before he has to help her into the train. He gets a strange look from the few boarding here, but he doesn't care. He leaves her ticket in her hands, makes sure she's resting in a comfortable position. She'd be able to know that she's heading home. After all, she's a smart girl. Brave. Sweet. Kind. Passionate.

(The greatest person I'll ever know.)

Before anyone could speak to him, ask a question, he's already turned to leave. His pace is faster than usual, nearly running out of the train, out of the station. His gaze is kept low, head down as he walks the path back to the museum.

He swears that he had heard the officer call to him, but had just passed on by. He'll explain everything later, another day. Right now, he just needs some time alone. He just needs-

"Hey!"

That voice. It isn't hers. But that kid's voice. He doesn't need to lift his gaze up to see her, he can see her feet standing before him. He didn't want to see her, not after what he just did.

"Big sis left already, right? You told her she could come back, didn't you?"

He hesitantly nods, even goes so far as to show her the memos he had written. Sakuma glances to the small piece of papers he's holding out before looking up to him. He could feel her judging stare. Does she know? She can't know. No one could ever know.

"You know...I...You may be a bit of a weirdo, but..."

The younger pauses as she shuffles in her spot. Probably trying to find words, what to say to him. The pause makes him fear for the worse.

"You don't look that great. You're...sad to see her go to, huh?"

(More than you'll ever know.)

The man hadn't realized that he was holding his breath until then. Time seemed to have stopped for a moment and there's a breath of relief. She doesn't know what he did to her.

"But she's safer if she's not here..."

(Yes, that's right.)

She's safe and away from this curse. This curse that he had dragged her into. He did this to protect her. If she didn't remember, she'd be safe. If she never returned, she'd be safe. If she never fulfilled her promise, she'd be safe.

She'd live.

Sakuma begins to speak but his mind feels so hazy, his chest hurts, head hurts. He doesn't mean to be rude as he begins to move past the girl. She shouts at him and it would be surprising, something she'd never do before. Perhaps she had helped change her, just a little.

He keeps moving until he's back at the museum. He shuts the door, locks it, presses his back against it. No one would be coming anyway. Aside from the two regulars, but maybe, just maybe this once they'd leave him alone.

They don't need to see him crying, to see how much of a crybaby he really was. No one would hear him anyway. Silent tears were all he ever had. A hand clutches at his chest, the other begins to try and wipe away the falling tears.

She'll never come back.

She'll never fulfill her promise.

She'll never remember him.

She'll never protect him.

 _"I want to protect you, Suga-kun!"_

(No you don't. Please, don't. I'm not worth it. I'm not. Don't do this for me. You've protected me enough. Just let me do this. Let me do this for you.

I want to protect you.)

He doesn't hear his papers fall from his pocket. A memo that had been crumpled up, reopened, crumpled up again, hits the ground, landing on top of the others. It's one that he never got to show her, something he wished he could say to her. But, he thought, there was no point to it if she would have forgotten it, right? Saying it would have hurt, but keeping silent hurt just as much.

 _'I'm sorry, Shii-chan.'_


End file.
